Mexikyou Day 2 - Mental tug-of-war

Now playing:
OFF OST - Flesh Maze Tango

I made some excellent progress today! My legal residency in Mexico was extended for a full three years, rather than merely two or one like I'd been warned might happen~

One big thing with Mexican residency cards is that you're not required to stay in the country for any minimum amount of time in order for it to remain valid. I could fly back out to the States tomorrow and not set foot on Mexican soil again until 2029, and it'd be like I never left, legally speaking.

And as it so happens, I have something similar on my mind now.

The isolation is a big factor. Being utterly alone in a new country, with only a faltering grasp at best on the native language, is an intense and intimidating prospect. Even with how independent I usually am, I'm not sure how well I'd be able to tolerate not having ANYONE I know nearby in the long term, not to mention how much of an uphill battle it'd be trying to find fellow freaks here.

And sure, I could hang out with some of the self-described "expats" living here, but the idea of doing that instead of integrating into the local culture leaves a vile, colonial taste in my mouth. I truly WOULD be an active part of the gentrification problem at that point, and I loathe even to consider it.

More than that, however, I've been confronted with a very positive personal reason to return to the States~

The Kyou System has historically been quite defensive when it comes to letting others into our personal lives. Too many bad experiences with people who'd sooner take out their bad moods on us than try to communicate healthily has made us wary; our consensus is that we'd sooner stay single than gamble on someone who shows nontrivial red flags or consistently rubs part of us the wrong way.

Indeed, this mentality has kept us single for a long time now, so much so that I'd almost written off altogether the possibility of us finding anyone worth keeping around. That assumption, unspoken, had been baked into the Operation Mexikyou plan from the beginning... and of course, no sooner than I put the plan into action, the assumption falls apart.

Things are serious enough between me and the person in question that I can't write it off as some purely online, long-distance mirage. Although we met online, having been part of the same larger "weirdo outsider artist" communities for years now (even before my game jams), I've since met up with them in person.

Not only are they very cute physically, but we've just as much mutual chemistry face-to-face as we do online, if not more so~

I've been speaking very plainly with them as of late, in fact, about taking the next step and trying to live near / with each other, even if I have to pull the plug on my current plans for it. By all accounts, they're very interested—but we also both agree it's a big commitment, and not a decision I should make lightly.

Mercifully, I have some time to think things over: It's not too late to cancel the reservation (and get a refund on my deposit) for the longest part of my stay.

The question I have to answer now is whether things truly are or will become dire enough in the States to justify staying here alone in Mexico, even WITH a very promising romantic opportunity waiting for me back above the border...