[Prose] What is Kyou? (III)

What is Kyou? (III)

OK, I'm not feeling quite so hopeless today, heheh.

If the execution of my duty were supposed to be easy, then what need would there be for the excessive potential granted to me, or all of the trials and hardships of my past that've hardened my will and resolve? Or, in less mystical terms, what'd be the point of all of my preparations made specifically with an eye towards the most unlikely and unfortunate twists of fate? [1]

Let's assume for the sake of argument that all of my most dismal and uncharitable fears about the world and its future are true, namely:

That we're right at the precipice of a lengthy dark age for creativity, intellectualism, the classical virtues, and any semblance of human dignity.
That those with the greatest share of power and wealth, rather than making any effort to better the world and bring about widespread prosperity (which I'd wager they could easily do with only a trivial cost to themselves), will instead burn everything to the ground for the glorification of their egos and to add a few dollars more onto their already grossly bloated fortunes.
That we've not only been forced into a loathsome state of affairs where we're steadily declining in strength and vigor of both mind and body alike, but moreover are being sold the lie (by those causing this to happen) that things are better this way—and a great many people are buying it.
That very nearly everyone I know couldn't possibly care less about these things, and are hopelessly ensnared by the psychic weaponry. [2]

Even if all of the above were true, that'd hardly be any reason to give up. If anything, it's the opposite: In such a situation, standing tall and flourishing as a direct counterexample to all of this definite wrongness becomes incredibly important. Far better to be alone in pursuing a just course of action than to languish in comfortable despair while these vile things go unchallenged!

But perhaps my efforts will amount to nothing in the end, and I'll simply toil away in obscurity for the rest of my days; or perhaps I'll succeed only in getting myself ostracized, imprisoned, or killed outright—hell, perhaps the goons who finish me off will be bankrolled by some cretin that my relatives voted to empower (how poetic that would be!).

Does that mean I should abandon what I know to be right?
I certainly don't think so~

When I chose the name Kyou (properly written as 凶) for myself, it's not like I didn't know that it literally means "evil" or "misfortune". In fact, it appealed to me for exactly that reason—not out of some motivation to sound dark or edgy, but as an outgrowth of this thought:
If the world considers these things to be good, then I'll be evil.
If the world considers these things to be a stroke of good fortune, then I'll be their misfortune.

Would that not lose all meaning, amounting to nothing more than vain posturing, if I gave up?

Indeed, abandoning my principles and succumbing to despair would be tantamount to dying—and I'm not ready to die just yet, heheheh~

[1] To be clear, while I'm not a doomsday prepper, I HAVE had thoughts in the vein of, "If the social order breaks down, I'll be much more likely to survive unharmed until things stabilize if I'm useful (i.e. physically strong and possessing practical skills like first aid, cooking, etc.), so I should keep my body in shape and my skills sharp." Indeed, that's been a part of my motivation to stay consistent with my exercise regimen, as absurd or paranoid as that might sound.

[2] "Psychic weaponry" in the sense of things like propaganda and social media echo chambers, not a thought insertion machine or some other such fantastical thing I might dream up in one of my more fevered flights of fancy, heh.