I reaaaaally dunno what to make of it all, at this point.
I was originally thinkin' it'd be something simple, y'know? Like, a realization that we need to change--that I need to change.
But I don't think that's it. Not really, not anymore.
Not that I'm opposed to change--hell, I love the damn stuff! I hate, hate, haaaaate the feeling of staying still and stagnating!
And oh how we've changed, hee hee hee~
We've become--oh, what we've BECOME--something so powerful! Unique! Incredible! Unstoooooppable!
I absolutely LOVE this shit, don't get me wrong--you can't even BEGIN to imagine how good this feels, hee hee hee hee--but, uh... how do I put this?
Everything's getting boring.
OK, not EVERYTHING everything, but lots of shit.
People are getting boring.
Tons of games and movies and shit like that are getting boring.
Job work is suuuuuper fucking boring--it already kinda was before, but like, even moreso now.
And I guess the obvious question would be "Why?"
Not really much of a puzzler there: As we grow and grow, all of that shit becomes simple and basic and easy.
I mean, you've got people just sittin' there, eyes glazed over, watching TV or Netflix or YouTube or whatever and doing jack fucking shit in life--and I KNOW that they are, because I see it with my own damn eyes when I go out on walks and get glimpses through apartment windows, so don't try and act like it ain't true!
I guess their jobs really suck, or something? And they just kinda space out in their free time?
Can't really blame 'em, honestly, but yeah, not exactly super-fun to talk to or hang out with.
And with games and movies and whatever, unless it's some high-quality shit that we specifically went out of our way to find, most of it's trash.
It's all sooooo fuuuuucking STERILE! There's no life or love put into it! None!
It's all been irradiated and sanded down and spit-shined until there's nothing left but the long-dead skeleton of what once might've been actual artistic expression or real emotional substance!
Nothing but shiny, advertiser-friendly skeletons.
And people try and bullshit me like that shit is really good, and like I'm just being a snob or hardass about it.
Wouldja believe me if I told you a looooot of those people are some of the same ones doing nothing with their lives?
Not that it really matters that much what those people are doing, I guess.
Though I mean, to be sure, I get REAAAAALLY fucking pissed off when they try and tell me shit like, "i gAvE uP On My dREaMs wHeN i gOT mARrIeD, bUt ThAt's lIfE!!1"
FUCK NO THAT ISN'T LIFE YOU SHITHEADS! THAT'S A RECIPE FOR A FUCKING LONG AND MISERABLE ONE-WAY TRIP TO A NURSING HOME!
Stupid fat fucks, not even TRYING to take care of their hobbies or their health or their passions or fucking ANYTHING RRRRRRRGH that shit riles me up so MUCH!
I go out of my fucking way not to tell people what to do or how to live their lives, and they're over here trying to tell me I should throw out all the shit I've loved so dearly so I can shackle myself into some loveless marriage with a dead bedroom, up to my fucking eyeballs in debt on a mortgage, rotting physically and mentally and spiritually and emotionally, like that's how I'm supposed to want to live my life???
I don't care if I'm the only person on the fucking PLANET who isn't doing that shit! Just FUCK OOOOOFF already!
Like, holy SHIT, who the fuck do you think you are??
"uHHHhH yOu'Re BEiNg iMmaTuRe aND eXaGgErAtinG"--Shut the fuck up.
I'm done talking about it.
Sorry, I got kinda carried away there.
It's not all bad, really. I know I've been complaining a lot here, but it's not all bad.
One biiiiig good thing is all these artists and their work, hee hee hee~
They're hard to find, but they're out there, and man oh MAN!
I've never seen anything like it! Art that's so raw! So powerful! So ALIVE!
And maybe like, when you first look at it, it's kinda weird or gruesome or twisted or whatever, right?
But then that's WHY it's so powerful!! It's raw and genuiune weirdness and twistedness! Passionate weirdness and twistedness!
Oooooh, I get all fired up just THINKING about how cool some of this shit is! Hee hee hee hee~
And, and, that's one of the few things I can actually get hopeful about these days, y'know?
That we can make art like these artists, too!
That we can find them, and move them like they move us, and befriend them!
Hell, it ain't much of a fucking exaggeration at this point to say that we LIVE for that shit!
So, if you're out there--and I KNOOOOOW you are; you can't hide from me, hee hee hee--and you're reading this?
Lemme just tell you this: