Isolation (II)

It's hard to be sure of anything at this point.
I've at least figured out why Twitter makes me feel more isolated every time I use it--more than usual, I mean.
I've been very meticulous about who I follow, you see, restricting it only to personal friends and artists whose work I admire.
After all, I've already got more than enough simmering malevolence and insanity on my plate as it is.
My friends don't post very often, which is perhaps for the best.
The artists, meanwhile, are rather chatty, especially so amongst each other.
Perhaps that's how they floated up to the surface and into mine and everyone's attention, by greasing Twitter's wheels enough.
Who knows? Not me, certainly.

It's hard to be sure of anything at this point.
All of these artists I admire... how do they know each other?
Perhaps they don't, or at least not to the extent I think, and it's simply a simulation or illusion, but it certainly looks authentic.
The impression I get, just from the public-facing comments I come across, is that they're almost in cliques, with some being rather tight-knit.
It makes sense, in a way, since most of these cliques seem to be of artists who all have a similar style and aesthetic to their work.
From the way they talk to one another, though, it almost seems like they've known each other for quite some time.
If I'm not just being deceived, and the members of these cliques are indeed old friends, then where did they all meet, and how?
It couldn't just be from Twitter comments alone, could it?
I know of at least two of them who are married to each other, so at least SOME of them are talking and meeting elsewhere, right?
Who knows? Not me, certainly.

It's hard to be sure of anything at this point.
One thing that IS clear to me, however, is that I very much want to be friends with these artists, too.
But how?
I'm already twisting myself into a pretzel as far as productivity goes, much to Twitter's disinterest.
Evidently, programming a game engine from the ground up while also doing all of the graphics and writing and composing and sound design for it by myself doesn't drive engagement.
I could draw more outside of that, post content more often, but my project would suffer from any further starvation of time.
Besides, my art has already become so strange and stylized, far removed from the cute, creepy-cute, or fantastical aesthetics of these different cliques.
To be sure, I'm quite happy with the progress I've made and the direction I'm headed in.
Yet, regardless of my satisfaction, nothing gets their attention.
Am I doing something wrong?
Am I not skilled enough, not working hard enough, not interesting enough for their consideration?
Or am I simply not being heard, with all of my sincerest efforts being consigned to the abyss of "low engagement content"?
Who knows? Not me, certainly.

It's hard to be sure of anything at this point.
Maybe it's all a lie, and I've merely been misled, my thinking twisted by the isolation.
Were you genuinely close with someone, I can't imagine you'd only be chatting with them through public replies on their Twitter posts.
But again, if they're meeting and interacting elsewhere, where is it, and how did they find it?
Do I have no choice but to join online communities arbitrarily until I stumble across the right one?
Do I have to keep making myself difficult to ignore until someone invites me in?
Or does the lie goes further, and these artists actually aren't close at all, or even anything resembling friends?
Perhaps they're alone like me, and this is nothing more than Twitter trying to trick us all into greasing its wheels by capitalizing on our desperate attempts to make friends.
Who knows? Not me, certainly.