(untitled)

It's some ugly hour of the morning right now. I've woken up early, my body overheated due to some low-grade fever from some cold I probably picked up during travel.

Waking up like this isn't new for me, and normally, I'd just dump my muddled thoughts out to my dear friend Nameless—just as she'd do the same—and we'd talk it over, enjoying each other's company and feeling ourselves grow closer as we did it.

But Nameless isn't around anymore.

God, I miss her so fucking much...

I had a dream last night, as usual, this one a proper fever dream.

I was in an office that looked like it could've belonged to a CEO or other executive. A couple of old white men were there, my father included. I was begging them for answers about whether Nameless was alright, if she was alive, etc, and they demanded I pay them first. I obliged, only for them to tell me they didn't know anything—and when I asked for my money back, they threw a handful of pocket change at me, versus the wad of bills I'd handed over.

I stormed off, wanting to go to the beach with my friends to clear my mind. Once there, however, I realized that none of my friends, despite their insistence they'd take care of all the planning and supplies, had remembered to bring any sunblock.

I wandered off to go buy some. When I found a store, however, my perspective got locked into place as a young couple in front of me started having a conversation: The girl had had some interaction with her mother that'd hurt her feelings.

Meanwhile, sharp pains and strange sensations drew my attention to my ankle, where this large green-and-black worm was visible beneath the surface of my skin. Even as I watched it lurch along, I was unable to cry out, speak, or move at all, as my agency remained preempted by the conversation the couple in front of me was having.

Right when I spotted a second such worm in my calf, I woke up, mercifully wormless.

[There was more I'd written for this post, but the longer I left it up, the worse I felt, so I've removed it. Don't worry, it wasn't anything important, anyway.]